One of the last things my Dad said to me as he shook my hand, was "Goodbye Bren, and Thanks for all you have done."

I did not realise then, that in twenty four hours Dad would be with Mum.

From that time onward is really where I want to focus my thoughts.

Living in the family home was hard to begin with, but with friends and family around at this time, I found it easier to deal with the loss of my Dad.

On February 10, 2000 I met a friend who through his patience, helped me deal with the first steps of finality. We went into Dad's dressing room and began the task of dealing with his clothes and other particular memorabilia.

You see, where my pain lay was not in the loss of my Dad, as such, because I had farewelled him in spirit at the funeral. I found, when I went into his dressing room that I was dealing with feelings pertaining to Mum and also my Grandparents.

Even now, I am surprised at the things I found in that room. Items of note were Mum's wedding dress, my grandfather's gold teeth, the cross and handles off my Grandmother's coffin to name a few items..... and I won't even begin to think of the many many letters and photographs that were found, all neatly put away for another day.

It is so hard to deal with these ghosts and place them in some perspective in the whole.

As time has progressed, it is now difficult to make ends meet successfully, as day to day expenses are more than a headache.

I have difficulty with saying farewell to the family home, as I am stepping aside from  a part of my life that has been intrinsic since I was six years of age. I am currently making peace with myself and those ghosts of the past that live there still.

So reluctantly, I have decided to place the house on the market and  move on with my life. My two housemates have been of great personal help, and have seen "The Many Moods of Brendan." .... and boy oh boy .... if they  were to write a book... would they  have some stories to tell.

C and D are now a very welcome part of my life, and it is with a great calm that I have asked them both to come with me and share in the wonders of where this journey is headed.

As I ask  Dad if he sees a problem with my choices, I find his acceptance of me, as when I knew him in life, still continues and this is of great personal consolation.

In the Eulogy I said ...

One may think "Here lies George"…. But you may be mistaken…. Because George is alive and well, without the restriction of body, in each of us here today. 

To be continued........

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